Why a list helps
Most first conversations cover the same eight things and miss the four that matter. A list is not a script. It stops you leaving with an impression instead of an answer.
Ask them over several conversations rather than all at once. A person answering twenty questions in one sitting is performing, not talking.
On the deen
What does a normal week of worship look like for you? Not a good week, a normal one.
Who do you learn from, and how long have you been learning from them?
What would you want our home to be like in terms of practice, specifically?
On the household
Where would we live in the first year, and who else would be in the house?
Who is responsible for providing, and what does that mean in practice?
What do you expect of me in relation to your parents?
On character
How do you behave when you are angry?
Tell me about a serious disagreement you repaired, and what you did.
What are you like to live with on your worst week?
The ones people skip
Do you have debt I should know about?
Has anything happened in your past that I would want to know before the nikah?
How soon do you want to marry, and what is driving that?
General guidance, not a fatwa. Where something is disputed among the scholars we have said so, and you should ask someone you actually learn from rather than relying on a website, including this one.